drunkfeferi:

a quick guide to baby etiquette 

Reblogging again since it is now cold season and, despite the fact that you would think this is common sense, I still have to ask strangers to please stop touching my daughter literally every time we go out. Please remember that what we view as a simple cold can actually put some babies in the hospital!

  • 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
  • 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood
trait:

this is my life summed up in one conversation

trait:

this is my life summed up in one conversation

lexicution3r:

lexicution3r:

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

image

jimmyneuteredtron:

imageKim Pastabowl

donncnobles:

bit fairy tale.